Setbacks and Losses? You Can Bounce Back in Style
By Donna Marie Thompson, Ph.D.
The Difficult Journey with my Mother
As I was approaching my planned early retirement date, treatment of my mother's Alzheimer's disease compounded by a debilitating medical error was my sole focus. Arranging the best care for her made it a very trying and emotional time. There were no right answers.
The Betrayal by My Fiancé
As my retirement date approached, I was very excited. My fiancé was renting a house that I purchased in a retirement community as a placeholder. The house had appreciated quite nicely and it was time to sell it to free up my retirement capital. But my fiancé had other plans; he vehemently disagreed to the sale.
The house was only meant to be a placeholder and was very expensive to maintain. Even without a mortgage, the expenses were outrageous. My choice was to either forcibly evict my fiancé while my mother was terminally ill or to put my retirement in jeopardy. Because my fiancé was helping out quite a bit with my mother I thought I would be reducing her care if I evicted him, so I deferred.
The Physical Setback
After the combined stress of my mother's suffering and the betrayal of my fiancé, I suffered a major debilitating injury. I had a pinched nerve in my neck that severely limited my mobility for 10 months. I had two cortisone shots in my spine, 40 physical therapy sessions, and used 544 hours of sick leave.
The Financial Setback
I gave up on the relationship. I put the house on the market over my fiancé’s vehement objections, but it was already too late. My fiancé’s interference had dragged me into the housing crash where I lost 50% of the money.
The Road to Recovery
I lost my mother, my man, my money, and my health all at the same time; I was devastated. My recovery was based on three key elements. The first and most important component is my faith. I enrolled in Reverend Jenny’s disciple class where I read the Bible from cover to cover. This spiritual awakening gave me strength and purpose where I had none. Forgiveness and gratitude began to replace the bitterness and pain.
The second key was becoming a Certified Professional Coach in Bruce Schneider's Empowerment Coaching program. It changed my perspective and expanded my life. I actively seek out positive people and positive situations and now I face challenges with confidence.
The third component was starting my own business to help others. I built on my experience and knowledge to take up entrepreneurship. Not only was I helping others but I was also helping myself. For me, entrepreneurship was therapeutic – the key to my sanity in turbulent times. On my website, www.BouncingBackFromLoss.com, you can download a free 32-page e-book on “7 Obstacles to Recovery: How to Overcome Them.” Also, my story is included in a new book: Bouncing Back -Thriving in Changing Times featuring Dr. Wayne Dyer, John Assaraf, and Brian Tracy. To reserve an autographed copy, please sign in on my website.
Now I am living a marvelous life. I have a new direction and much more meaning and joy in my life. The key message is: if I could bounce back from a quadruple tragedy, then you can bounce back too. Find your joy today!
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Please follow me on twitter at: www.twitter.com/BouncingBackNow
Source: January, 2010 Put Old on Hold Newsletter
Barbara Morris — Image F/X Publications
Barbara@PutOldOnHold.com
© 2010 – Image F/X Publications, All rights reserved
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