Thriving with “the Holidays”
By Mary Lloyd
Yikes! “The Holidays” are here. It doesn’t
make any difference whether you equate that with Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanza,
Winter Solstice, or even Festivus; this time of year has something for everyone
to celebrate. And that “something” usually brings with it a massive dose of
stress. Why? Because “the holidays” represent a perfect emotional storm—the
nexus of inviolate tradition, unplanned change, and great expectations.
To get to where you can actually have fun with “the Holidays,” you have
to appreciate the force of that storm and realize you are in it. It’s not as
simple as just saying “This is complicated.” But it doesn’t require taking a
leave of absence from your entire life for the last two weeks of the year either
(though this is my favorite fantasy).
So let’s look at these three “forces of nature.”
Inviolate Tradition:
The longer we live, the more traditions we have the chance to establish. When you couple, you mesh your family traditions with his (or her) family traditions. Then you come up with a bright fun idea and add that. Even if you don’t stay a couple, quite often you end up keeping at least some of the traditions you added with the partner. You see something on TV or in a book that looks like fun. You add that. There’s more and more and more that “we always do” at this time of year.
But traditions are like closet space. Unless you weed things out every once in a while, you get a lot jammed together in a tight space. And then you can’t enjoy any of it because it’s wedged in so tightly it’s hard to even get to it.
· Not every tradition deserves to be honored forever. Which ones do you really appreciate? Which ones are you doing because you think you “have” to? Who would notice if you let some of the latter go? Maybe it’s time to find out.
Unplanned Change
This year has brought a mega-dose of unplanned change for many of us. Lost jobs, reduced work hours, and lost business have affected how much we have to spend. Heavy workloads for those who do have jobs make holiday tasks even harder to get done. Wherever there is change, there is stress. Most of us were already stressed before we got to “the Holidays” this year.
There’s only one good way to handle change—accept what is going on now and run with that. This year, it’s fashionable to admit you have to change how you handle the season. What an unexpected blessing! It’s the perfect chance make changes you’ve been wanting to make, regardless of whether you are still be able to pull off the old routine.
There’s another kind of change that’s more subtle. What’s changed with your loved ones? Maybe one of your kids moved away for a job. Maybe your sister has married a man with seven kids and his own traditions. It’s not fair to insist everyone else still do all the things “we’ve always done for the holidays” if they aren’t in the same place with their lives. But letting go of traditions you cherish can be hard.
· Are you insisting everything stay the same because it suits you--even if it’s more difficult for others participants than it used to be? Are you being honest about others’ needs with your holiday extravaganza? Are things different for you this year? Respect and accommodate changes.
Great Expectations
Let’s face it. We’re all still kids when it
comes to this time of year. Maybe we aren’t waiting for the pony or the new
bike anymore, but we do want “the Holidays” to be magical, perfect, and totally
satisfying.
That’s just not realistic. Things go wrong in life--often at the worst possible
moment. People who are already stressed about 100 other things over-react more
easily. Grand plans with a lot to get done become overwhelming at the last
minute. It’s just a holiday season—not the sum total of your life’s
accomplishments. Throttle back for heaven’s sake!
·
How can you streamline things so there’s
more room to enjoy what’s going on? Do what you can comfortably and be
joyful with those results.
That’s the bottom line on this particular time of the year—JOY. Usually, things
are so hectic we never feel it. Maybe a look at these three things can help
you bring it back.
**********************************************************************
Mary Lloyd is a speaker and consultant and author of Supercharged Retirement: Ditch the Rocking Chair, Trash the Remote, and Do What You Love. Her passion is in capitalizing on the potential of those over 50. For more, please visit her website http://www.mining-silver.com. She can be reached at mary@mining-silver.com.
Source: December, 2009 Put Old on Hold Newsletter
Barbara Morris — Image F/X Publications
Barbara@PutOldOnHold.com
© 2009 – Image F/X Publications, All rights reserved
Learn my secrets for staying youthful!
And receive "Twelve Unique Diva-Tested Tips for Fantastic Skin" ebook as a FREE gift when you subscribe!
Privacy Policy: Your email address will never be sold, rented, or given to anyone. You have my word on it!
Put Old on Hold wisdom:
“I'm on a personal exploration
of the anti-aging odyssey. I've lived through this process. I know it
works.”
— Barbara Morris
